My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
