U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
