I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
