I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
