I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
