she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
