Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
