Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
