Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
