Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
