yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
