you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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