Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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