I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
