This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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