Define "chronic" masturbator.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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