At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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