You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
