he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
