So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
