We're like a lot better than the average bears
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
