you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
