Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
