i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
