That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
if i died would you start the facebook group?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
