is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
