They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
