I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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