She said her name was "party"
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
