don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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