I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
All I want is dick and wine.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
