I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
