my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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