Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
