Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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