Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
