I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
