Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
