I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
