Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
