I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
