Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
