girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
