Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
