No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
