nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
