I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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