whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
