Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We had sex on a dog bed..
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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