As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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